It’s been a while so let’s talk about SEX….ism!

Peeps. I know it’s been like, forever, right? I won’t lie. I’ve been busy at work and life sometimes, can just be overwhelming. So, why am I writing today of all days? What made me take time out of my day to actually log in and sit down and feel like I need to blog about something and think you will read it? Because I’m mad. I’m actually really mad. And I’m about to rant to you about why. So sit back and get comfortable!

In the last month or so, I have been noticing a lot of headlines talking about sexism and “girl power”. How women are paid 0.78 cents on the dollar compared to men. How we shouldn’t walk alone at night ever, no matter where we are. How we always need to keep an eye on our drinks while out at a bar with the girls. How when we make a remark about how upset we are feeling,someone might ask us if we are PMSing. I get it. It’s degrading and not to mention, it’s annoying. I’ll be the first person to agree that sexism is still an issue even in today’s modern society no matter where you are from.

That is only in part of what is bothering me.

Recently while on my break at work, I was perusing a popular website with mostly upbeat, positive videos that have strong messages. While on said website, I did see a video about a woman with the headline “She removes her dress on stage in the name of feminism to prove her point.” I have to say, that headline alone caught me. I start to watch and the video starts with her telling us about her daily morning routine. Her hair, make up, moisturizer,  flat iron, bronzing cream etc. She goes into elaborate detail about getting dressed and the clothing she wears including spanx and making sure she looks a certain way. She continues on a lengthy tirade about how she has counted the minutes of her daily routine and has said that in that time she has spent dolling herself up, she could have learned a new language. She ends the video by removing her dress to show she is wearing a tank top and spanx looking shorts. Removes her makeup and messes up her hair to show her “true colors”. During this video, she does say how society makes her wear make up, makes her wear spanx to hide her “mummy tummy” and makes her exercise so she stays a professional size 10. The woman also tells her child in response to why she wears make up that society says she has to look a certain way. At the end of the video, people applaud and cheer as if she has accomplished something world changing.  And this is why I’m pissed.

You can watch the video for yourself  here

I’m going to have to call her out on some very serious accusations about so called society and feminism. What she did, wasn’t being a feminist. What she did was place blame and feminism is about having choices and having a voice. What the speaker did was place blame and appear to be helpless in a world where for some strange reason, she has no choices. Society is not to be blamed for choices we make. Even in a world as cruel as ours can be at times, we still have free will. Does my wearing make up mean I have low self esteem? Or that society is to blame for me going to the drug store and buying mascara? Or what about me blow drying my hair? There is nothing wrong with taking pride in how you look and feeling good for you! When I put my mascara on in the morning, my thoughts are not ” I hope people notice I put in an effort.” My thought is ” I LOVE how I look and feel with this on!” The speaker also did mention that grooming is not a marketable activity. I would beg to differ! I would like to see someone apply for a job and not be groomed. Actually, I have and I never did see them again. And I can tell you that dressing well is also a form of good manners. You wouldn’t wear sweats and have greasy hair if you were going out with your significant other, would you? Of course not. Because you care about yourself and them. It’s not about society. I have gone to work without make up and felt just fine! I have embraced my looks and all of it’s imperfections and come to terms with it. But that’s me. Not society.

My point is this: Feminism is about equality. It’s also about having a voice. Society may make some strong suggestions but it’s up to us to give in or not. The next time you are about to praise and share a well produced video where the audience applauds and the speaker says its in the name of a worthy cause, take a moment to look at it from all the angles.

What do you think? Do you think the speaker was fair in her arguments? Have you been a victim of sexism?


2 thoughts on “It’s been a while so let’s talk about SEX….ism!

  1. Anne-Marie says:

    Dear Tara,
    I would like to start by saying that i could not watch the video as the hotel i stay at has a very low internet connection. But hey ! I did not wash my hair today so maybe i can use this time to try to give you a smart answer 😉
    Although i think it is important to question ourself about the importance we give to our image rather than our intellectual possibilities, I think you are absolutely right ! This should not be labeled as feminism… The idea that we could make a better use of our time applies to both men and women and like you, i dont like the idea of targeting the efforts we, as women, make to be socialy acceptable as the unique responsible. I dont like the idea that puting time into the way we look makes us poor little victims… This kind of message only accentuate the prejudice that a beautiful woman that put care and attention to the way she looks must be dumb witch as a woman i also find insulting.

    • Anne-Marie, I agree whole heartedly. My main issue is that the view of feminism is that women are weak and we need to take a stand to be treated as equals. That right there to me is wrong. Women are far from weak. We are not helpless creatures who cannot speak or think for ourselves. I do believe that her video did more harm than good and that those applauding her, are missing the whole point. When you have a better connection, I hope you will watch the video posted and tell me what you think.
      Thank you for your comment and for reading,

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